Strachey and Carrington met at the Sussex country home of Woolf. He
was tall and emaciated and wore a long beard that drew goatlike bleats
from street louts. Her short-cropped hair, baring the hollow of the
neck when that was never seen in polite society, also excited
hostility. Woolf told her sister Vanessa that on a 1917 visit to her
home, Carrington and Strachey withdrew ``ostensibly to copulate'' but
were later discovered reading aloud from Macaulay.

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Conversation should be
pleasant without scurrility,
witty without affection,
free without indecency,
learned without conceitedness,
novel without falsehood.

- William Shakespeare (Proof that William Shakespeare Never Read Usenet)

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A joke attributed to Oscar Wilde.

Oscar Wilde was sitting next to a lady at a society dinner, and he said to her:

"Would you go to bed with Sir Ralph for a thousand guineas?"
"I might," she said, flicking her fan.
"What if it was for a silver florin?"
"What do you take me for!" she snapped haughtily.
"We already know what you are my dear," Oscar replied, "I'm only trying to establish the price."

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A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling

For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all. Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli. Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

Mark Twain

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See also: My Collected Quotes